Overcoming Anxiety
During my senior year in college I started on the pill, for menstrual cramps, and then I began having these random feelings of anxiety. I would have a hard time getting excited about things and was afraid to go places and always felt kind of light headed in a way. It was annoying but it wasn't happening often enough for me to really look into what was causing it.
Then one evening in March 2012, Tyler and I were just watching TV in our basement when all of a sudden I had a panic attack. I had a hard time breathing and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was clammy, I felt faint and then as I laid in bed that night I got zero sleep and could not stop shaking. It was really scary and it was the last straw. I linked it to my birth control pill, Ortho Tri-Cyclen. After Tyler and I talked it over we decided that it was time that I get off of it. Little did I know that the transition of being off of the pill would put me in an even worse whirl wind of anxiety. It wasn't just a mental anxiety. This was a chemical imbalance kind that would effect my every day life for months. These were the hardest months of my life. I would start crying for no reason, I was terrified to go places, I lost my apatite and just felt out of it all the time. This may sound funny, but I literally thought I was dying. I yearned to feel normal again.
Luckily I work for an Anesthesiologist who has many connections with all kinds of doctors. She asked an OB/GYN Dr. Walker, who happens to be our awesome doctor for me and baby now :), and he said that he has heard of this happening and that it will probably last for 2-3 months until the hormones start balancing out. The fact that it had a promising end to it was like music to my ears!
What helped me the most during these months was praying and repeating scripture. Especially at night, when I found myself getting very anxious, the second I started praying, my heart rate would start calming down and I would start feeling better. As hard as it was getting through those months, it brought me super close to the Lord and He was my rock during this time.
Also, during these months, I reached out to my friend, Ashley Bush, who struggled with anxiety as well. Her words of wisdom and advise on how she would get through it were SO helpful and I am thankful that I had someone that I could talk to about what I was going through. It is something that is hard to explain or understand unless you've been through it too. One of the things she advised me to do was to start eating small meals at least every 2-3 hours. As hard as that was, because I never felt like eating, I did and it really made a difference! Thank you Ashley for being there for me!
Around this time, I also went to a doctor, who prescribed me Xanax. I was a bit wary about this at first because of its addictive qualities, but I only used it when I was having a panic attack which was becoming more and more rare as the months went on. Knowing it was there if I needed it helped and it got me through some of the bad ones.
Finally around May-June, like the doctor had said, I started feeling like myself again. It was such a major relief! I was still on edge at times but I was able to enjoy my life! After going through what I had, the thought of being pregnant was more of a scary thought then it had ever been before. This made me so sad because being a mother has always been on my heart and the fact that I was more scared than excited about it was no good. Thankfully as the months went by I finally felt like I was healed enough and ready. I'm not sure if it my bodies defense mechanism or what but I have felt so calm during this pregnancy so far and that is such a blessing and totally not what I was expecting. lol I am aware that anxiety may strike again at some point in my life but getting through it the first time taught me a lot about myself and how strong our bodies truly are.
I have come out of this battle with anxiety even stronger than before and to God I am very thankful. I pray for anyone else that may be struggling with it and if any of you relate to my story and need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me and we can talk. <3
1 Peter 5: 6-8
2 Timothy 1:7
Matthew 6:34
Philippians 4:6
Then one evening in March 2012, Tyler and I were just watching TV in our basement when all of a sudden I had a panic attack. I had a hard time breathing and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I was clammy, I felt faint and then as I laid in bed that night I got zero sleep and could not stop shaking. It was really scary and it was the last straw. I linked it to my birth control pill, Ortho Tri-Cyclen. After Tyler and I talked it over we decided that it was time that I get off of it. Little did I know that the transition of being off of the pill would put me in an even worse whirl wind of anxiety. It wasn't just a mental anxiety. This was a chemical imbalance kind that would effect my every day life for months. These were the hardest months of my life. I would start crying for no reason, I was terrified to go places, I lost my apatite and just felt out of it all the time. This may sound funny, but I literally thought I was dying. I yearned to feel normal again.
Luckily I work for an Anesthesiologist who has many connections with all kinds of doctors. She asked an OB/GYN Dr. Walker, who happens to be our awesome doctor for me and baby now :), and he said that he has heard of this happening and that it will probably last for 2-3 months until the hormones start balancing out. The fact that it had a promising end to it was like music to my ears!
What helped me the most during these months was praying and repeating scripture. Especially at night, when I found myself getting very anxious, the second I started praying, my heart rate would start calming down and I would start feeling better. As hard as it was getting through those months, it brought me super close to the Lord and He was my rock during this time.
Also, during these months, I reached out to my friend, Ashley Bush, who struggled with anxiety as well. Her words of wisdom and advise on how she would get through it were SO helpful and I am thankful that I had someone that I could talk to about what I was going through. It is something that is hard to explain or understand unless you've been through it too. One of the things she advised me to do was to start eating small meals at least every 2-3 hours. As hard as that was, because I never felt like eating, I did and it really made a difference! Thank you Ashley for being there for me!
Around this time, I also went to a doctor, who prescribed me Xanax. I was a bit wary about this at first because of its addictive qualities, but I only used it when I was having a panic attack which was becoming more and more rare as the months went on. Knowing it was there if I needed it helped and it got me through some of the bad ones.
Finally around May-June, like the doctor had said, I started feeling like myself again. It was such a major relief! I was still on edge at times but I was able to enjoy my life! After going through what I had, the thought of being pregnant was more of a scary thought then it had ever been before. This made me so sad because being a mother has always been on my heart and the fact that I was more scared than excited about it was no good. Thankfully as the months went by I finally felt like I was healed enough and ready. I'm not sure if it my bodies defense mechanism or what but I have felt so calm during this pregnancy so far and that is such a blessing and totally not what I was expecting. lol I am aware that anxiety may strike again at some point in my life but getting through it the first time taught me a lot about myself and how strong our bodies truly are.
I have come out of this battle with anxiety even stronger than before and to God I am very thankful. I pray for anyone else that may be struggling with it and if any of you relate to my story and need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact me and we can talk. <3
1 Peter 5: 6-8
2 Timothy 1:7
Matthew 6:34
Philippians 4:6
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